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"Unity party always has been and always will be useless"
Everyone, 2017
What's a Unity Party? Well first off, fuck you! The Unity Party is the most productive and active Union faction to ever be created. Now, many would believe that on a planet called Lemonpunch a young man named Kozlov ( @key ) held aloft a mighty sword and yelled "I HAVE THE POWER". Any intellectual would know that story is bullshit. Let me tell you the true story of the Unity Party.
It all started in Canada, at the turn of the century. The pussy ass liberal Canadian government called for an investigation into the death of Adrian Arcand, The self proclaimed Canadian Fuhrer. When the recovery team dug up the grave, they found something horrifying. A great evil was unleashed - They accidentally dug up the body of FRANCIS AGINCOURT - The Unity Party Chairman of some time period in history.
Agincourt quickly initiated a coup with his ghostly powers and established himself as Global Chairman of the Unity Party and Head of the Not-So-Universal Union. He began to implement major reforms in the country including changing the national currency to Smackeroonis and also by creating a country-wide loyalist system where the citizenry would wear armbands and do things... I guess?
The Great Leader saw that the Civil Worker's Union to the south were in a bit of pickle due to the fact that two parts of the same faction had completely different ideas and wanted to split away however they had no power to do it. Under the command of Captain Webb ( @Twar ), the Canadian Conscript Battalions quickly began their invasion.
The Conscript Invasion was successful and The Chairman immediately declared a new state in the South of the Civil Worker's Union... Warehouse country....? This country would later evolve to be known as the Union Medical however for the time being it would remain as the little brother to the Civil Worker's Union as the CWU:M.
Further south lay the Science Company, Willard Industries. The Chairman called on his new allies in the Civil Workers Union to begin discussions with the dirty liberal CAB man known as Richard Willard ( @Atle ). Talks soon failed as the Northern parties who by all rights supported the Union to death could not discuss policies with the quiet Union supporters of the south and thus a war was declared.
The Northern Armies quickly overwhelmed the Southerners as Chairman Agincourt placed a much more friendly government in charge under the guide of Johan Schuster ( @Poopsie ). This government would later join The Universal Union to complete the square of union aligned forces under the command of The Unity Party.
However, a threat lay to the east. In the country of Serbia, hidden in a bunker located in a lush valley lay the guerilla armies of Simeon ( @harry ). Simeon's armies were fully against The Union and wanted nothing more to tear down The Unity Party and all allied governments.
This brings us today where The Second Cold War is in full effect as both armies engage in short raids and stalemate battles as each vie for control off the world. Thank you for listening to the true story of the rise of the Unity Party!
Also, if anyone has any numbers for Mental Asylums in Scotland then please send them my way. I need one badly!
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