Breakup

[NecroHerr]

Because I am in the middle of it, tell me your:

• Worst/Best Breakup Story.
• Tips to avoid the big down phase.
• Ways to find motivation.
• Ways to get on.

 

[Kafe]

I don't date much.
But I remember getting a facebook DM saying they'd like to move on.
Only issue was, I hadn't used that facebook account for about 2 years, so never found out until I got around to deactivating my account months later.

it wasn't a very committed relationship.

 

[Slimaaconroy]

Ways to get on.

play hl2rp instead

 

[Rabid]

Happened fairly often for me unfortunately. I haven't had a very positive history with relationships due to my choice in partners.

End of the day there'll always be someone else and if you care about them the breakup will suck, no matter how clean it is, but you just gotta pick yourself up and distract yourself.

 

[Masky]

Oh hey, something I can relate to.
for better or for worse.

1) Worst breakup story without getting into too much detail cause it is a very long story or doxxing anyone.
Was together with someone for a year or two, maybe three. It was awful, abusive and generally not good for my mental health but I could not just walk away and in the end, it took THEM breaking up with me to end it and clear my view on it.

In that situation, you need to look at it from an outside perspective and if someone you trust says they have a bad feeling about it then it is best to take their word for it. Don't trust yourself fully, love is a good blindfold.

2) Without a shadow of a doubt or any offence meant, go see a psychologist. I don't know much about german healthcare but for me the visits are free and they have been a tremendous help. No medicine needed either if you are worried about that. It's nice to have a professional to trust and unload your troubles and worries onto while getting some good advice on how to deal with your specific situation.

3) Ah, the classic loss of motivation or interest. Being depressed, that and the general feeling of burn-out happens very often and the best way I can suggest you combat it is just to force yourself through it. If you find you don't want to do something that used to interest you, try it anyway. If you didn't enjoy it then no harm was done, right? So why not give it a good shot.

4) Just give it time. I was solo for the longest time before I met my first partner so, of course, I didn't want to break up with them cause I'll be alone forever right? Well, wrong. If you give it time, you will find someone better for you. I ended up finding someone perfect and I can promise you, that you will too. Just stay positive, stay open, and don't be afraid to cry.

If you need anyone to talk to anonymously over the internet about your problems, I can offer an ear and I'm sure there are others on the forums as well who would make great listeners and advice-givers.

Also have a free neb, it always makes me feel a little better.

 

[Ricsow]

Can‘t relate but:

Ways to find motivation

Listen to music (no, not depressing music), it makes me feel good at least

 

[Deleted member 1392]

I don't date much.
But I remember getting a facebook DM saying they'd like to move on.
Only issue was, I hadn't used that facebook account for about 2 years, so never found out until I got around to deactivating my account months later.

it wasn't a very committed relationship.

That's the biggest yikes I've seen on the forums before.

For me, I found the supposed 'love of my life' last year when I first moved schools. Within one to two weeks, I was completely blind by the girl. She enjoyed everything that I liked. Arctic Monkeys, Queen, all of that. Every music I had ever found out before and had a liking into, she had too. It was fucking surreal. And the best of all, which is funny, is that she was a gamer. I wanted to game with her on PS4, share my music and the world with her. During the first month or so, it was goddamn splendid and booming.

It all changed, though. I became obsessed, I became a maniac of some sort for her attention. I liked her, I loved her too much. It didn't turn very healthy, you know? After telling her what I felt, it all crumbled down. She refused kindly, and she was sincerely kind to me on her refusal. She said she was flattered but in the end, she denied it because she got out of her first relationship that lasted around half of her life. That was the moment that I sunk in. I started drinking on alcohol, I abused on it, I was a rude loudmouthed motherfucker to people and I was a nuisance. I didn't care, my grades went down and so did everything else. I got drunk twice in school, and at the second time she told it to the teachers and showed up a bottle of whiskey that I gave her because she lied to me by saying "Hey, I make a collection of those. Can you give me one?" So, foolish me gave her it. I went to the office with the teachers, they talked me down and I just shrugged it off. I was given a psychologist and I had to meet up with her on a weekly basis. That was the start of my healing.

I started healing myself up. I was still depressed, I was still sad, angry and upset at life. I was skinny for barely eating, I was so fucked in the brain due to the massive rollercoaster that I went on through and God fucking damn, was I an idiot. I started skipping the meetings with the psychologist, she didn't help me with anything and I was feeling already good. I was still sad inside, and I still had no care for myself. Couldn't give a damn, didn't want to eat, didn't treat myself right and it was a big "whatever lol" phase. I used to let my hair grow massively, went to school like it was nothing and skipped up a lot too.

The final part, but the final good part. We were going to go camping, and at that point I texted her down all of my thoughts and wishes for her. I finally let go of her. I sliced ties, I stopped texting her and stopped noticing her. It was gone. No more friends, no more love for her. Vanished and gone into ashes. Our entire class went camping with school in bungalows. I got pissed drunk since the second day of it was my birthday. I couldn't breathe, my skin was pale and I was cold. It was if I was dying, and I was. I had overdosed myself on alcohol. I passed out cold, no one knew what to do. People forced me to vomit, gave me showers multiple times, cold ones. I puked goddamn black and green shit all over the place. At one point I couldn't puke anymore. I gave myself up. The next day I woke up smiling with a smug, my head was fine but my stomach was fried. I think my stomach will always get fried when it comes to getting face fucked with alcohol. That was it, and I healed myself up and here I am now. I'm good, we no longer talk that much. We may say an occasional "hey" or "sorry" for bumping into each other, but that's it.

I remember some good moments. When she was sad, sat down on a corner and I kneeled down with the biggest grin I ever held in my face, with the most confidence I ever felt I booped her head, she tilted it up and looked at me, nearly crying. I asked what was wrong, she said nothing was wrong, but I clearly knew something was up. I got her a bar of chocolate that she liked a lot, returned with the biggest grin possible and said "Hey dumbo, here's some chocolate to cheer you up. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen to my entire life is your smile. So smile." and for that moment, she smiled and I could see she was grateful for me trying to cheer her up.

Another good moment was when we started singing out loud at McDonald's. We sang a song from Queen. It was fantastic. Or when we started watching anime together.

I spent good moments, cried a lot and felt a lot. Fucking goddamn miss it and I'm sad I've ruined it. Sometimes when I see her, I think about how good it was at the beginning. How fucking good it felt.

I miss you and our friendship. It was a strong one. Moon and Wolf. :grinning:

 

[Ond]

Just find something that forces you to focus on it rather than the breakup and then talk to a friend about it

 

[Hushhx]

Worst/Best Breakup Story.

My ex boyfriend actually acted like an adult, and spoke to me in person, not on the phone or by text, we agreed it wasn't working out. We're still close friends, I spoke to him earlier today.

Tips to avoid the big down phase.

There isn't any, you need to experience the bad things to appreciate the good things. A good painter told me that =')

Ways to find motivation.

I usually just listen to good music, and remember the big picture. Whatever I do now will affect my future, I don't want to grow old regretting the things I never did.

 

[Goatson]

Worst/Best Breakup Story.

This ones both horrible and great

Was dating a girl for about a year, mutual friends got us together
She was very introverted, quiet, a lil narcissistic and very prude so let’s just say it was difficult, but we made it work because we were genuinely in love for a long time

She ended up moving to another city about 9 months in so it got harder to keep contact but we still did and met up on weekends
But because I missed her during the weekdays I got a bit more pushy about hanging out when we actually could which eventually led to anger, arguing and eventually she broke up with me

Was really down for a good month or so til when she finally contacted me again, apologized, and we agreed that it would never have fully worked out and decided to settle as friends.
Today she’s my best friend instead and regularly hang out, she’s the one who took all the pictures of me for this

Tips to avoid the big down phase.

You cant, the best you can do is try and weather it by talking to people about it and focusinf on the good things in life

Ways to find motivation.

I try to just keep on dedicating the new spare time to what I feel gives me purpose, which in my case would be politics and writing, it fills me with joy and purpose and gives me energy to also go hang out with friends and maybe eventually meet someone again

 

[NecroHerr]

Sorry for Mistakes or if I misunderstood you completely, Whiskey is a good Painkiller.

it wasn't a very committed relationship.

Everyone has their own definition of Relationship and binding to Partners, my Relationships were all pretty close so I can't really get your point of view at all.

play hl2rp instead

I can't ensure good Roleplay right now, I am main CP and it would ruin someone's Experience when I am Sad/Angry.

choice in partners

I can relate, but I quit before I could get attached.

distract yourself

Hard to do in the night, when all of your Friends need to work the next day and you can only think of her.

bad feeling about it then it is best to take their word for it

Yep, I ignored my best friend and my mother and got into big trouble (not this girl, a previous)

love is a good blindfold

Biggest to Mankind in my opinion

go see a psychologist

I can't, in my country, you can't get the career I dream of when your Psych isn't 100% stable (Teaching Profession in Ger)
But I know it would be the best chance I get.

If you didn't enjoy it then no harm was done

Like I said, ruining one's Experience is not my goal. HLRP Perspective

If you give it time, you will find someone better for you. I ended up finding someone perfect and I can promise you, that you will too. Just stay positive, stay open

I had some Relationships which go through this class, but she was different, she was good for me and i was the bad part, and I think she's fed up with my bs and behavior, but nothing is final and we will speak tomorrow, face to face, again.
The bad part: I often spoke about her mildly denounciating her, because I did not learn to treat girls another way (precious exes, and conservative/Silesian Family)

don't be afraid to cry

I am a man, and it tells me to show my Emotions and be Faithful about everything I do, even Cry, I can openly say that I am since 4 hours and I don't feel ashamed.

@Dingtard
Thank you, I really felt that and can relate to some points and passages of you.

We're still close friends, I spoke to him earlier today.

I brought her into my Work so yeah, I have to do so too.

There isn't any, you need to experience the bad things to appreciate the good things. A good painter told me that =')

True, but not always realizable.

Thanks :grinning: I really appreciate you all

Even Grammarly understands me

 

[Frank]

Me and this Russian girl were fucking for like 3 months straight, undefined, but both of us obviously had feelings for each other. When the corona virus outbreak started we couldn't really see each other because her university was locked down. Fast forward two weeks and all Americans are pulled out of Beijing. I sit here in America, wondering if i'm ever gonna see her again.

 

[Rabid]

That's the biggest yikes I've seen on the forums before.

For me, I found the supposed 'love of my life' last year when I first moved schools. Within one to two weeks, I was completely blind by the girl. She enjoyed everything that I liked. Arctic Monkeys, Queen, all of that. Every music I had ever found out before and had a liking into, she had too. It was fucking surreal. And the best of all, which is funny, is that she was a gamer. I wanted to game with her on PS4, share my music and the world with her. During the first month or so, it was goddamn splendid and booming.

It all changed, though. I became obsessed, I became a maniac of some sort for her attention. I liked her, I loved her too much. It didn't turn very healthy, you know? After telling her what I felt, it all crumbled down. She refused kindly, and she was sincerely kind to me on her refusal. She said she was flattered but in the end, she denied it because she got out of her first relationship that lasted around half of her life. That was the moment that I sunk in. I started drinking on alcohol, I abused on it, I was a rude loudmouthed motherfucker to people and I was a nuisance. I didn't care, my grades went down and so did everything else. I got drunk twice in school, and at the second time she told it to the teachers and showed up a bottle of whiskey that I gave her because she lied to me by saying "Hey, I make a collection of those. Can you give me one?" So, foolish me gave her it. I went to the office with the teachers, they talked me down and I just shrugged it off. I was given a psychologist and I had to meet up with her on a weekly basis. That was the start of my healing.

I started healing myself up. I was still depressed, I was still sad, angry and upset at life. I was skinny for barely eating, I was so fucked in the brain due to the massive rollercoaster that I went on through and God fucking damn, was I an idiot. I started skipping the meetings with the psychologist, she didn't help me with anything and I was feeling already good. I was still sad inside, and I still had no care for myself. Couldn't give a damn, didn't want to eat, didn't treat myself right and it was a big "whatever lol" phase. I used to let my hair grow massively, went to school like it was nothing and skipped up a lot too.

The final part, but the final good part. We were going to go camping, and at that point I texted her down all of my thoughts and wishes for her. I finally let go of her. I sliced ties, I stopped texting her and stopped noticing her. It was gone. No more friends, no more love for her. Vanished and gone into ashes. Our entire class went camping with school in bungalows. I got pissed drunk since the second day of it was my birthday. I couldn't breathe, my skin was pale and I was cold. It was if I was dying, and I was. I had overdosed myself on alcohol. I passed out cold, no one knew what to do. People forced me to vomit, gave me showers multiple times, cold ones. I puked goddamn black and green shit all over the place. At one point I couldn't puke anymore. I gave myself up. The next day I woke up smiling with a smug, my head was fine but my stomach was fried. I think my stomach will always get fried when it comes to getting face fucked with alcohol. That was it, and I healed myself up and here I am now. I'm good, we no longer talk that much. We may say an occasional "hey" or "sorry" for bumping into each other, but that's it.

I remember some good moments. When she was sad, sat down on a corner and I kneeled down with the biggest grin I ever held in my face, with the most confidence I ever felt I booped her head, she tilted it up and looked at me, nearly crying. I asked what was wrong, she said nothing was wrong, but I clearly knew something was up. I got her a bar of chocolate that she liked a lot, returned with the biggest grin possible and said "Hey dumbo, here's some chocolate to cheer you up. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen to my entire life is your smile. So smile." and for that moment, she smiled and I could see she was grateful for me trying to cheer her up.

Another good moment was when we started singing out loud at McDonald's. We sang a song from Queen. It was fantastic. Or when we started watching anime together.

I spent good moments, cried a lot and felt a lot. Fucking goddamn miss it and I'm sad I've ruined it. Sometimes when I see her, I think about how good it was at the beginning. How fucking good it felt.

I miss you and our friendship. It was a strong one. Moon and Wolf. :grinning:

Dingus you somehow tried to make this all about you in three posts rather than offering advice.

 

[NecroHerr]

Me and this Russian girl were fucking for like 3 months straight, undefined, but both of us obviously had feelings for each other. When the corona virus outbreak started we couldn't really see each other because her university was locked down. Fast forward two weeks and all Americans are pulled out of Beijing. I sit here in America, wondering if i'm ever gonna see her again.

Spoiler: Sorry for the Meme

 

[Deleted member 1392]

Dingus you somehow managed to turn "hey can I have advice?" into a massive mildly-uncomfortable post all about you rather than just offering advice.

man, I just wanted to offer my story.
[doublepost=1581373910][/doublepost]

Worst/Best Breakup Story.

 

[Rabid]

man, I just wanted to offer my story.

But you weren't with her. You didn't actually break up?

 

[MaXenzie]

i am 19 years old and have never kissed someone outside of immediate family

 

[Rabid]

outside of immediate family

 

[Deleted member 1392]

But you weren't with her. You didn't actually break up?

Oh, man. Whatever. You've pissed me off so badly, I don't even know how you did it.

 

[Goatson]

Sorry for Mistakes or if I misunderstood you completely, Whiskey is a good Painkiller.


Everyone has their own definition of Relationship and binding to Partners, my Relationships were all pretty close so I can't really get your point of view at all.


I can't ensure good Roleplay right now, I am main CP and it would ruin someone's Experience when I am Sad/Angry.


I can relate, but I quit before I could get attached.


Hard to do in the night, when all of your Friends need to work the next day and you can only think of her.


Yep, I ignored my best friend and my mother and got into big trouble (not this girl, a previous)


Biggest to Mankind in my opinion


I can't, in my country, you can't get the career I dream of when your Psych isn't 100% stable (Teaching Profession in Ger)
But I know it would be the best chance I get.


Like I said, ruining one's Experience is not my goal. HLRP Perspective


I had some Relationships which go through this class, but she was different, she was good for me and i was the bad part, and I think she's fed up with my bs and behavior, but nothing is final and we will speak tomorrow, face to face, again.
The bad part: I often spoke about her mildly denounciating her, because I did not learn to treat girls another way (precious exes, and conservative/Silesian Family)


I am a man, and it tells me to show my Emotions and be Faithful about everything I do, even Cry, I can openly say that I am since 4 hours and I don't feel ashamed.

@Dingtard
Thank you, I really felt that and can relate to some points and passages of you.


I brought her into my Work so yeah, I have to do so too.


True, but not always realizable.

Thanks :grinning: I really appreciate you all

Even Grammarly understands me

Hey pal, you’re gonna be alright, we all end up in that place at some point.
My most genuine advice is to put on some music you like and to sleep on it.
For me sleep tends to help my mental state a lot as you have a lot more energy when you’ve rested and can better work through your emotions.