Serious Medical/Mental Illness. Or a general well being thread

[Trains]

>me and my friends have tickets for reading fest
>shit lineup but i honestly dont care
>generally in a much better mood (albiet still changing randomly)
>started cutting down on food, working out more
>can see friends again soon
>can go out and actually live too

i generally get very scared of being optimistic or saying things are getting better, because every time i do, something bad happens. so i can't say im really optimistic much or looking to the future

but i think im in a bit of a better place now than i was around christmas, just generally more confident in myself and im not feeling awful 24/7


:)

 

[deathwolf]

>me and my friends have tickets for reading fest
>shit lineup but i honestly dont care
>generally in a much better mood (albiet still changing randomly)
>started cutting down on food, working out more
>can see friends again soon
>can go out and actually live too

i generally get very scared of being optimistic or saying things are getting better, because every time i do, something bad happens. so i can't say im really optimistic much or looking to the future

but i think im in a bit of a better place now than i was around christmas, just generally more confident in myself and im not feeling awful 24/7


:grinning:

mfw i might meet operator trains if i take my friends offer on going

 

[chronos]

>me and my friends have tickets for reading fest
>shit lineup but i honestly dont care
>generally in a much better mood (albiet still changing randomly)
>started cutting down on food, working out more
>can see friends again soon
>can go out and actually live too

i generally get very scared of being optimistic or saying things are getting better, because every time i do, something bad happens. so i can't say im really optimistic much or looking to the future

but i think im in a bit of a better place now than i was around christmas, just generally more confident in myself and im not feeling awful 24/7


:grinning:

i love you trains never forget homie

 

[aperson]

>me and my friends have tickets for reading fest

thats cool what books are you taking with you?

 

[Trains]

thats cool what books are you taking with you?

yea

 

[Clokr]

There’s something I’ve had on my mind for the past few days or so that spurred back onto me as I had began to do some research and exploring with learning the culture of Japan.

The thing on my mind is regarding something that isn’t mine, or even related to me. But it’s something I’ve been wanting to devote a lot of time towards finding out.

Basically, my closest friends grandfather had passed recently. And his grandfather had served in the Pacific during WW2. And I remember specifically my friend told me that he was told he served on Peleiu during the battle. And finally once he was of age and before his passing he had revealed a secret he kept for the entirety of his life since surviving the war.

And I had gotten permission from the man himself to share his story and “secret”. And it’s just been on my mind for a very long time.

The story he told me was that during the battle. He and his men were ordered to do a small sort of recon for the battalion. And halfway through the patrol they were ambushed by a Japanese patrol. And things got ugly enough that he said he could personally see the looks in their eyes. And said he saw a man looking at him with his weapon raised. He said simply “I was quicker then he was.” To say he killed the man, and watched him fall.

After the ambush he said he went up to the man he killed. And looted the mans corpse. And said he found a journal in the mans pocket. Not even thinking twice as he said he just took it and went on.

He only opened it once. And said he saw a picture of a woman, closed it, and never opened it again.

With his permission I got ahold of the journal. Tried to look through it but of course I don’t know Japanese. And it’s been in his possession since, but he’s passed. So now I’m unsure who has it now. Or if his family even has it still.

I remember asking him if I could try and get the thing translated. He said he’d be okay with it. But I haven’t been able to as I completely forgot about it until recently.

I so badly want to get ahold of it, get it translated so that I can try and find a sort of name, and then try and find any remaining family if they’re still around so that I can return it to the right people. But I’ve got absolutely no clue where to start or who I could go to to get it translated.

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t do this. While the other half says the remaining family should finally find that closure and story as to what truly happened to their relative.

 

[Deleted member 3818]

There’s something I’ve had on my mind for the past few days or so that spurred back onto me as I had began to do some research and exploring with learning the culture of Japan.

The thing on my mind is regarding something that isn’t mine, or even related to me. But it’s something I’ve been wanting to devote a lot of time towards finding out.

Basically, my closest friends grandfather had passed recently. And his grandfather had served in the Pacific during WW2. And I remember specifically my friend told me that he was told he served on Peleiu during the battle. And finally once he was of age and before his passing he had revealed a secret he kept for the entirety of his life since surviving the war.

And I had gotten permission from the man himself to share his story and “secret”. And it’s just been on my mind for a very long time.

The story he told me was that during the battle. He and his men were ordered to do a small sort of recon for the battalion. And halfway through the patrol they were ambushed by a Japanese patrol. And things got ugly enough that he said he could personally see the looks in their eyes. And said he saw a man looking at him with his weapon raised. He said simply “I was quicker then he was.” To say he killed the man, and watched him fall.

After the ambush he said he went up to the man he killed. And looted the mans corpse. And said he found a journal in the mans pocket. Not even thinking twice as he said he just took it and went on.

He only opened it once. And said he saw a picture of a woman, closed it, and never opened it again.

With his permission I got ahold of the journal. Tried to look through it but of course I don’t know Japanese. And it’s been in his possession since, but he’s passed. So now I’m unsure who has it now. Or if his family even has it still.

I remember asking him if I could try and get the thing translated. He said he’d be okay with it. But I haven’t been able to as I completely forgot about it until recently.

I so badly want to get ahold of it, get it translated so that I can try and find a sort of name, and then try and find any remaining family if they’re still around so that I can return it to the right people. But I’ve got absolutely no clue where to start or who I could go to to get it translated.

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t do this. While the other half says the remaining family should finally find that closure and story as to what truly happened to their relative.

I'd maybe head around to some kind of japanese language learning forum or something and see if anybody's interested in helping, returning it to the family seems like the right thing to do, and who knows what kind of historical value a simple looking journal could have.

 

[Clokr]

I'd maybe head around to some kind of japanese language learning forum or something and see if anybody's interested in helping, returning it to the family seems like the right thing to do

I’ve heard about organizations who help deliver these types of items but I want to be the one to hand it to them personally.

I’ll ask my friend again soon if he knows where it is or who has it so I can get a better idea about it, and what type of condition it’s in now.

Seeing the look in his eyes as he told me his story, I could tell how ashamed he was of killing this man then taking his only way of expressing emotion.

If I can help it this is something I will do before I die.

 

[Blackquill]

I’ve heard about organizations who help deliver these types of items but I want to be the one to hand it to them personally.

I’ll ask my friend again soon if he knows where it is or who has it so I can get a better idea about it, and what type of condition it’s in now.

Seeing the look in his eyes as he told me his story, I could tell how ashamed he was of killing this man then taking his only way of expressing emotion.

If I can help it this is something I will do before I die.

The worst part about war is that there is always two sides to it and it turns ordinary people into killers

Not gonna go on an anti-war rant, but your friend's story is heartbreaking to think about

 

[Clokr]

The worst part about war is that there is always two sides to it and it turns ordinary people into killers

Not gonna go on an anti-war rant, but your friend's story is heartbreaking to think about

I could tell he was uncomfortable and at times nearly breaking down. And I told him he didn’t have to continue but he insisted on sharing what really happened then, with someone else before he passed.

I truly hope he managed to find the strength to come to peace with himself before he went. And I know he’d be happy knowing that it’s finally back with the people who deserve to have it.

Ive had family serve in all theatres of that war. And my uncle spent the entirety of June 7th cleaning up Omaha beach where his brother was just a day before. Not knowing if the next body he’d turn over would be his own brother staring back at him.

 

[Clokr]

Life isn’t always what others say it may be. For you are the marble and the sculptor. You control yourself and all that happens. The only thing your demons fear are you, literally. So GO OUT THERE AND KICK ASS KING AND QUEENS!

 

[Deleted member 3818]

 

[mert]

day 14 of nicotine withdrawal

feel like a king and i can shit again

remember gamers 3 days of being a constipated angry gamer with a headache is better than a lifetime of being a gamer with yellow teeth and a crippling addiction.

 

[constantdisplay]

There’s something I’ve had on my mind for the past few days or so that spurred back onto me as I had began to do some research and exploring with learning the culture of Japan.

The thing on my mind is regarding something that isn’t mine, or even related to me. But it’s something I’ve been wanting to devote a lot of time towards finding out.

Basically, my closest friends grandfather had passed recently. And his grandfather had served in the Pacific during WW2. And I remember specifically my friend told me that he was told he served on Peleiu during the battle. And finally once he was of age and before his passing he had revealed a secret he kept for the entirety of his life since surviving the war.

And I had gotten permission from the man himself to share his story and “secret”. And it’s just been on my mind for a very long time.

The story he told me was that during the battle. He and his men were ordered to do a small sort of recon for the battalion. And halfway through the patrol they were ambushed by a Japanese patrol. And things got ugly enough that he said he could personally see the looks in their eyes. And said he saw a man looking at him with his weapon raised. He said simply “I was quicker then he was.” To say he killed the man, and watched him fall.

After the ambush he said he went up to the man he killed. And looted the mans corpse. And said he found a journal in the mans pocket. Not even thinking twice as he said he just took it and went on.

He only opened it once. And said he saw a picture of a woman, closed it, and never opened it again.

With his permission I got ahold of the journal. Tried to look through it but of course I don’t know Japanese. And it’s been in his possession since, but he’s passed. So now I’m unsure who has it now. Or if his family even has it still.

I remember asking him if I could try and get the thing translated. He said he’d be okay with it. But I haven’t been able to as I completely forgot about it until recently.

I so badly want to get ahold of it, get it translated so that I can try and find a sort of name, and then try and find any remaining family if they’re still around so that I can return it to the right people. But I’ve got absolutely no clue where to start or who I could go to to get it translated.

Part of me feels like I shouldn’t do this. While the other half says the remaining family should finally find that closure and story as to what truly happened to their relative.

idk if this is a bit late but i remember seeing this video, there are probably other organisations that sort out this kind of stuff


https://obonsociety.org/eng/

 

[Dicknose]

Honestly, things are going to get better. Life is going to get back to normal, or at least as normal as it can be. Still have shit to sort out, but I'm not going to let that drag me down any longer. Hopefully this feeling lasts. Like my boys Iron Maiden told me "So understand. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years. Face up, make your stand. Realize you're living in the golden years". This is something I forgot a long time ago. Can't always think about the what ifs, what could've been.

 

[Clokr]

Just woke up and remembered today’s my birthday

TODAYS THE FUCKIN DAY BOYS LETS GO

 

[Deleted member 3818]

 

[FreeSpy]

Looked for this thread for a hot second.

Does anyone else have some sort of like... idk how to call it. episodes? of depression, anxiety and whatnot?

i've sure had some so i'll describe them not necesarily to vent but more to put a damn pin in it so I can finally describe it.

every year or so i have a couple of months where i'd feel really bad social anxiety, a sense of closure to everything i do, as in it'd end really soon. any period of happyness would have this shadowing sense of doom -- like it'd fail.. idk why.

if im frank, it is really overwhelming. anything long feels like it'll fail really soon and nothing will follow, and this reflects for me in social stuff. anytime im in a friend group i cant maintain it because i feel like it would end soon enough, same with friendships in general. i feel like it'd end anyway, and even if i have friends i lose touch.

these couple of months have been bad bc of that. i feel more alone by the day, and no apparent fix is in view. even if i go out i end up staying in the sidelines and listening to sad shit, because i cant fit in with people.

idk what to do. this is just a mumbling of a crazy person at this rate.

 

[Deleted member 61]

 

[Deleted member 93]

Looked for this thread for a hot second.

Does anyone else have some sort of like... idk how to call it. episodes? of depression, anxiety and whatnot?

i've sure had some so i'll describe them not necesarily to vent but more to put a damn pin in it so I can finally describe it.

every year or so i have a couple of months where i'd feel really bad social anxiety, a sense of closure to everything i do, as in it'd end really soon. any period of happyness would have this shadowing sense of doom -- like it'd fail.. idk why.

if im frank, it is really overwhelming. anything long feels like it'll fail really soon and nothing will follow, and this reflects for me in social stuff. anytime im in a friend group i cant maintain it because i feel like it would end soon enough, same with friendships in general. i feel like it'd end anyway, and even if i have friends i lose touch.

these couple of months have been bad bc of that. i feel more alone by the day, and no apparent fix is in view. even if i go out i end up staying in the sidelines and listening to sad shit, because i cant fit in with people.

idk what to do. this is just a mumbling of a crazy person at this rate.

If you haven't already start gym and meditation, they are very important for keeping the mental in check.
Meditation will allow you to stay in the present as anxiety and depression are both created by a negative feedback (thought) loop that starts with thinking about past mistakes, and future preconceived failures.

I've been where you are at, and I promise that mindfulness meditation (focusing on your breath) will do you crazy wonders, and you won't even expect it. Stoicism is always good philosophy to read into too. Don't underestimate philosophy of ourselves.