My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I play Dallas events." The class is shocked, they merely play pleb events like Snowl's to feign intelligence, not grasping the post-modern symbolism. "...how? I can't even understand their sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see... CLOSED EVENTS!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.