Serious Vent Thread
- Thread starter venutianPunk
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today is better.
i got sushi today and it was nearly 80 outside got to cruise around with the windows down and blast music
i got sushi today and it was nearly 80 outside got to cruise around with the windows down and blast music
bubblegum
you should see me in a crown
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Landlords still haven’t fixed my oven.
my old landlords threatened to charge me daily because I didn’t tell them I moved out. I left the keys on the counter and they haven’t just gone and checked.
my old landlords threatened to charge me daily because I didn’t tell them I moved out. I left the keys on the counter and they haven’t just gone and checked.
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bubblegum
you should see me in a crown
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I've been around for four years and it seems like every time I take a break from neb, it's 10x harder to get back into the swing of things.
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tera
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i honestly lost a lot of motivation in the last several months
before 2020, i finished my 2nd year and was prepared to move out to my new apartment to further my studies as a 3rd year medical student at a government hospital nearby
2020 is supposed to be a good year for me. I finally got independence and with that, I became the master of my own decisions without any influence from my folks. I've been wanting independence for a long time and it felt great once I got it. For the first month and a half in staying in my new apartment, I really had a good thing. Firstly, doing hospital rounds and studying medicine in a practical manner is far more engaging and interesting for me. I learn to brush my history-taking skills along with my communications with doctors, healthcare staff and patients. Learning from doctors in our bedside teachings. this is what i've been waiting for after 2 years of pure theory studying. It gets my confidence going. Secondly, I found myself to be more active in everything else. I was active in my piano (I managed to learn a song during that), active in badminton and gym and most importantly, I've been going out of my shell to be more socially active by hanging out with friends all the time. Learning with them, having fun with them and such. I learn to be responsible for my own cleanliness, cooking, chores, bills and such. Honestly, it.. Felt really good to be productive like that. For the longest time, I felt free and motivated. I kept in touch with my family and along with my friends and all. I feel like I was really shining a lot. Happy, productive, kept things in check and all!
Until coronavirus came.
Because i have only been staying at my new apartment for a month and a half that's being paid by my folks and the fact we third year medical students can no longer go to the campus and hospital due to a lockdown, my folks wanted me back home. I've been wanting independence for so long, to have it taken away from so soon in just a month and a half to spend the rest of my semester 1 back home with my folks is just.. Its just so damn demotivating. What I've wanted to learn in my course, all those bedside, hospital and practical stuff has now been reduced to buncha zoom online classes meetings which made me want to throw up at end of each session. Don't get me wrong, I love my folks but there is that surrounding environment that you get that doesn't make you feel independent. For example, folks are still getting on to me about what time I should sleep, not to lock my doors, how i should clean my room and that i should do this and that. Few months in and some days, I just feel so demotivated that I just dont want to do anything. And honestly, all I do now is just eat, sleep, shit, study and play. No more productive stuff like music or gym or exercise and I'm just going back more and more into my shell as I lose the drive to be socially active with friends and all. I begin to neglect my health, tidiness and cleanliness which is something I know I should keep doing but I just feel so demotivated to do anything really at times. And I feel guilty that I made myself to be this way because like.. I don't know, my folks sometimes like to play with my emotions by making me feel guilty about like how im a lot happier in my new place than at home which made them think that i dont like spending time with them. But its not them really. I don't blame them or this entire situation really, maybe its just me that's fucking weak from all of these shit. I generally have low confidence in my entire life and that I have a bit of anxiety when it comes to social friendships and all. And it feels just more devastating when I really had something good in 2020. That one month and the half is truly the best I've ever been in a while and now everything is just like.. Back to square one.
i hope this thing ends soon, I know i can hold on longer but i just want things to return to normal. im sorry if this made me sound like a weak idiot and i know some others have it harder than me but i just find it difficult to manage under these circumstances. i just dont know who i can vent things to, i dont wanna bother my friends with it. my parents always asked me to tell them if i got problems but it always ends up in a case of "some people have it harder than you, you should be grateful/stop complaining." though i understand their sentiment really.
its just me honestly thats not managing any of this well. I've been feeling a bit miserable at times.
sorry for long post
before 2020, i finished my 2nd year and was prepared to move out to my new apartment to further my studies as a 3rd year medical student at a government hospital nearby
2020 is supposed to be a good year for me. I finally got independence and with that, I became the master of my own decisions without any influence from my folks. I've been wanting independence for a long time and it felt great once I got it. For the first month and a half in staying in my new apartment, I really had a good thing. Firstly, doing hospital rounds and studying medicine in a practical manner is far more engaging and interesting for me. I learn to brush my history-taking skills along with my communications with doctors, healthcare staff and patients. Learning from doctors in our bedside teachings. this is what i've been waiting for after 2 years of pure theory studying. It gets my confidence going. Secondly, I found myself to be more active in everything else. I was active in my piano (I managed to learn a song during that), active in badminton and gym and most importantly, I've been going out of my shell to be more socially active by hanging out with friends all the time. Learning with them, having fun with them and such. I learn to be responsible for my own cleanliness, cooking, chores, bills and such. Honestly, it.. Felt really good to be productive like that. For the longest time, I felt free and motivated. I kept in touch with my family and along with my friends and all. I feel like I was really shining a lot. Happy, productive, kept things in check and all!
Until coronavirus came.
Because i have only been staying at my new apartment for a month and a half that's being paid by my folks and the fact we third year medical students can no longer go to the campus and hospital due to a lockdown, my folks wanted me back home. I've been wanting independence for so long, to have it taken away from so soon in just a month and a half to spend the rest of my semester 1 back home with my folks is just.. Its just so damn demotivating. What I've wanted to learn in my course, all those bedside, hospital and practical stuff has now been reduced to buncha zoom online classes meetings which made me want to throw up at end of each session. Don't get me wrong, I love my folks but there is that surrounding environment that you get that doesn't make you feel independent. For example, folks are still getting on to me about what time I should sleep, not to lock my doors, how i should clean my room and that i should do this and that. Few months in and some days, I just feel so demotivated that I just dont want to do anything. And honestly, all I do now is just eat, sleep, shit, study and play. No more productive stuff like music or gym or exercise and I'm just going back more and more into my shell as I lose the drive to be socially active with friends and all. I begin to neglect my health, tidiness and cleanliness which is something I know I should keep doing but I just feel so demotivated to do anything really at times. And I feel guilty that I made myself to be this way because like.. I don't know, my folks sometimes like to play with my emotions by making me feel guilty about like how im a lot happier in my new place than at home which made them think that i dont like spending time with them. But its not them really. I don't blame them or this entire situation really, maybe its just me that's fucking weak from all of these shit. I generally have low confidence in my entire life and that I have a bit of anxiety when it comes to social friendships and all. And it feels just more devastating when I really had something good in 2020. That one month and the half is truly the best I've ever been in a while and now everything is just like.. Back to square one.
i hope this thing ends soon, I know i can hold on longer but i just want things to return to normal. im sorry if this made me sound like a weak idiot and i know some others have it harder than me but i just find it difficult to manage under these circumstances. i just dont know who i can vent things to, i dont wanna bother my friends with it. my parents always asked me to tell them if i got problems but it always ends up in a case of "some people have it harder than you, you should be grateful/stop complaining." though i understand their sentiment really.
its just me honestly thats not managing any of this well. I've been feeling a bit miserable at times.
sorry for long post
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Imagine having taxes.
Fuckin losers
[doublepost=1590246031][/doublepost]
It's starting to die down in some parts of the world, asia looks like one of them.
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Chromesthesia_
Hailing from the same town as Sophie Dee
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Chromesthesia_
Hailing from the same town as Sophie Dee
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